Lean on Me

Cid always enjoyed the Northwest. While he decried the hipsters, they were a mostly friendly kind of people at the end of the day. This trend proved true today as Cid sat alone in a Portland cat café, surrounded by mostly young people buried into their phones or laptops, along with several cats circling around everyone. Not that he was any different from them, he had been staring at a series of text messages exchanged between him and his tag team partner Asher Hayes for the last several minutes.

< Asher Hayes

Friday, September 4 2020

(9:24 pm) I’m staring at a rather large box of doughnuts

don’t (9:24 pm) 

(9:25 pm) They’re on sale

(9:25 pm) Look

(9:25 pm) If I buy them now and eat them slowly over time

(9:26 pm) Then maybe I won’t very suddenly put on 20 pounds

(9:30pm) Are you still there?

(9:34 pm) WHERE ARE YOU

(9:36 pm) I NEED YOUR HELP DAMN IT

(9:49 pm) I bought the doughnuts

Monday, September 7 2020

(10:09 pm) Hey

(10:09 pm) I wanted to have a chat

(10:09 pm) Meet at the cat café in the city tomorrow?

ok (10:30 pm) 

(10:31 pm) WHY DIDN’T YOU REPLY ABOUT THE DOUGHNUTS ASSHOLE

Despite picking up a win on the first Breakdown after the Rise to Greatness hiatus, Asher seemed to be upset with Cid for slacking over the break. This was cause for concern for Cid. It could be argued that Cid wouldn’t even be in SCW still if not for Asher. The last thing Cid wanted to do was upset his new partner. So, he had a plan.

He took a small box out of his pocket and rolled it between his hands a bit before setting it down on the table and opening it up. Snuggled inside was a blank black ring. He had to make a grand gesture. He had to make this partnership officially official. This was the only way.

A bell jingled, leading to Cid immediately closing the box and putting it back in his pocket. He looked up and saw Asher walking through the front door, giving Cid a wave. He made his way to the table as Cid smiled and waved enthusiastically, not unlike a child. Asher took a seat while looking around the café at all the patrons, cats included. “Man,” he said while nodding his head, “lotta pussy in here!”

Cid put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands, sighing happily while looking around. “Yeah. I love cats.”

“Pfft. Right. Hey, wanna go up and order? I could use a coffee.”

Cid broke his animal loving trance and sat back up straight. “Oh, no. I ordered for us already. Should be here soon!”

“You don’t know how I take my coffee, do you?”

“Well, you see, that’s the problem. Isn’t it? We don’t know enough about each other, man. We’re tag team partners. We’re a unit! We—”

“An A/C Unit,” Asher interjected.

“Right,” Cid said with an excited smack of the table. “Exactly! We have a name and everything! That’s kind of it, though. Just a name. I mean, look at Dark Fantasy.”

Asher groaned. He made a point to let Dark Fantasy know that A/C Unit was eager to get another chance at them weeks ago on Breakdown, but knew that likely wasn’t coming anytime soon, so the reminder of their great failure only aggravated him in the moment. “Christ. Did you really have to remind me of Kim and Kylie?”

“Who?”

“Syren and Ravyn.”

“Oh. You called them Kim and Kylie.”

“Yeah, it’s—… ah, forget it,” said Asher, waving his hand away. “I know it’s been awhile, but the loss still stings a bit.”

Upon mention of the defeat, Cid exhaled sharply. Asher was right. Much to the surprise of Cid, he actually took a lot of positives from the loss against Dark Fantasy. It was surprising not only because Cid was used to throwing monumental tantrums upon every loss, but because he found this positivity in a state of great anxiety. Despite all of that, it was hard to ignore the downsides of the loss. A/C Unit’s true debut would forever have a black mark against it. All of the vows they both made to change things for the better were just embarrassing in retrospect. He wanted another chance at them – or even just a chance against Syren or Ravyn – but it was looking like it wasn’t meant to be. Not yet, at least.

So, Cid could empathize with Asher. He decided to try and cheer him up with a bit of a rib. “I understand,” he began. “It’s depressing enough for me and I didn’t even eat the pin! Hah!” Cid smiled and raised his hand for a high five for some reason. Asher just stared at him, blinking rapidly. Cid slowly lowered his hand. Mission failed. “Sorry. Look, we’ll get ‘em back, but that’s not the point. My point is, look at them. They do everything together. There’s a reason why they’re the best. They’re more than a team, they’ve transcended that! We have to be like Dark Fantasy!”

Asher raised an eyebrow and leaned back a bit, looking at Cid in slight confusion. “Are you saying we should get married? Oh, we’d need a third like them, though. I might be able to talk Jordan Majors into it. That’d be a hell of a publicity stunt!”

“Oh,” Cid said as his heart dropped. He wasn’t exactly proposing marriage, but he kind of was. This was not a good start to his proposal. “Ha. Yeah. That’d be dumb, huh?”

“Nah, man. I’m willing to be your life partner, brother. ‘Til death do us part!” said Asher. Cid wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not, so he decided to continue to build up to the popping of the question.

“Well, I’m just saying, those girls do everything together. The Wonderland, they call themselves family. The Golden Boys, well, it’s in the name. They’re golden! SpecOps, they’re a real squad, man. Who doesn’t love a military man? And hey, Selena and Regan, they call themselves sisters! That’s beautiful!”

“What about Kandis and Tommy?”

“No, that’s all right,” Cid said bluntly. “Anyway, what do we have?”

Asher suddenly popped up a bit. “Oh, long hair! We both have long hair!”

“You’re right, Asher. That’s a great foundation, too. We need to build upon that. That’s why I brought you here today. We need to start doing more things together, man. Hey, let’s start here,” he said as he bent down and picked up a cat. He put it on the table and began to pet the cat, who meowed in response. “Let’s pet the cat together! Cats and coffee, what a novel idea!”

Cid continued to pet the cat, smiling like a child. Asher eventually joined in. They both pet the cat for several seconds. Asher cleared his throat. “Man, this is awkward.” The cat suddenly reared back and swatted Asher’s hand before quickly running off. Asher jumped back and looked down at his hand to see blood drawn. “Damn cat!” All the other cats now seemed slightly on edge after the outburst.

“They can sense the tension between us.”

“There’s no tension! Look, it took awhile for me to cope with the loss,” he admitted. “Honestly, I’m still kinda coping here. Regardless… we’re doing well, Cid. We picked up our first win against those Wonderland freaks. We couldn’t beat Dark Fantasy, but so what? We fought for our lives and almost beat ‘the greatest tag team ever’,” he said mockingly. “Two matches in and we’re lookin’ good, brother. A/C Unit is here to stay and we’ll win those tag titles, gay marriage or not!”

A waitress came by with their order, arriving just at the end of the conversation. Cid looked up awkwardly as she set two drinks on the table. “Um. We’re not having a gay marriage.”

“Hey, we don’t discriminate,” Asher said as he began to laugh.

The waitress just nodded and walked away as Cid called out after her. “He’s right! We love the gays!”

“Hey, maybe scream that a little louder so everyone knows,” Asher sarcastically suggested. He looked down at his drink, the happy expression completely changing. “Wait, what’s this? This isn’t a coffee.”

“Ah!” Cid exclaimed while throwing a finger proudly into the air. “Correct! You see, I could sense that you were not particularly pleased that I gained some weight over the break.”

“Twenty pounds, bud.”

“Okay. Great. Thank you. Yes, twenty pounds. So, to show you that I’m committed to being better, I bought us some excellent veggie smoothies.” He looked down at the smoothie, closely inspecting it. It reminded him of baby shit. Or maybe liquified garbage. He stuck the tip of his finger into it and quickly pulled back out, a green ooze plopping from his fingertip right back into the smoothie. He grimaced. “Oh, kale. Ohh, it’s so good, isn’t it?” Cid asked, trying his best to sound enthusiastic. He took a whiff. “Wow, this doesn’t smell terrible at all, does it? Wonderful.”

Asher took a quick sip of his smoothie. He put it down and shrugged. “Hm,” he hummed, smacking his lips. “That’s all right. Well, I’m glad you’re keeping an eye on your weight. What about that box of doughnuts then?”

“OH, NOW YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE DOUGHNUTS?!” Cid shouted and suddenly all eyes were on them.

“Sorry,” Asher said, turning around to the rest of the store. “My friend has a food addiction. We’re learning to cope with it, day by day.” He turned back to Cid. “No. I don’t want to talk about the doughnuts. I’m just saying, you need to be careful. Obviously the ‘Masta of Speed’ is no more, but that’s okay! You’re proving you don’t need that extra edge. You’ve got heart, man. With that being said, you’re forty now. Keep up the doughnuts, we might have to get you one of those Walmart mobiles to get down to the ring.”

“No we won’t, damn it! Watch this!” Cid brought the smoothie up and started to chug it. He could only get about a quarter of the way before tapping out after sensing that he might vomit. It tasted terrible. He forced a manic smile. “That’s good! That’s real good!”

“Hell yeah, man! Chug that shit!”

“No,” Cid protested, the smile on his face now suddenly replaced with a look of stoic strength. “You know why?”

“Because you don’t like the taste?”

“No. Because that’s an unhealthy manner of consumption. And I’m all about health.”

“Fuckin’ hell, man,” Asher said as he ruffled his hair. “I’m starving. This is a terrible lunch, I gotta be honest.”

“No, it’s not, because at the end of this, we’ll be closer as a team. Just us being together here, that’s building our chemistry as a team, Asher. That makes this a lovely lunch, friend.”

Asher shrugged and nodded, choosing to concede despite not fully agreeing. He was hungry, damn it. He raised his nose and sniffed the air. “Do I smell cat shit?” he asked, covering his mouth and nose with his hand.

“I think that’s the smoothies. Listen, there’s something else I wanna say.”

“Dude, I think one of these cats shit,” he said, looking under the table to see if there was any evidence around his feet.

“I just wanna say, I started in this business a long time ago with my brother.”

Asher popped back up from under the table. “Oh, shit! Xotic, baby! Hell yeah!”

“Right. Xotic.”

“What a name. Very early 2000s, Cid,” Asher said as he went back under the table to check for cat shit.

“Yeah… I miss the 2000s.” Cid sighed, staring off into the distance. He reminisced briefly before snapping out of it and getting back to the point. “Anyway, I fought by my brother’s side for a long time. I remember our first professional match, I had an epiphany. A moment of pure truth. I went out there and wanted to play hero, but nobody there wanted that. They booed the shit out of me.”

“Oh, damn,” Asher replied, still under the table, now crawling around on all fours to check for any sign of fecal matter. “Stunk up the joint?”

“No, no. Well, shit, probably, but I mean I was trying to play up to the crowd and make them wanna cheer me, but they just wanted to see me get my ass kicked.”

Asher got back up and sat back down in his seat. “Okay, it’s not near us, but a cat definitely shit in this café,” he said, looking around. “Dude, I don’t see any litter boxes in here. This is not a good sign.”

Cid also took a look around to realize the same thing. This was concerning. “Well, I’m sure it’s somewhere discreet. Anyway, I realized from my first match, maybe I’m not meant to be the hero. Maybe I’m supposed to be that evil foreigner that beats the shit out of the American hero!” 

“Whoa! Don’t say ‘evil foreigner’! That’s racist.”

“I’m sorry,” Cid said with a shake of his head. It didn’t come out quite the way he expected. “I grew up in the 80s, where wrestling supported the hatred of minorities. Listen, that’s not the point! Point is, the crowd hated me. It sucked at first, but by the end, I was basking in that hatred. I took it and soaked it all in and I became everything they wanted me to be. Then I met Chad Evans. He saw that rotten seed that had been planted in me and made sure that I grew into as much of a miserable person as he was.”

Asher couldn’t help but laugh, much to the dismay of Cid. “Man, you were hilarious. Knowing what I know now about Rachel Foxx, it just tickles me to see you slap the shit out of her.”

Cid once again reminisced, this time thinking about his return in 2011 against Rachel Foxx. It felt good to be successful after such a long absence. He didn’t know that would be the last time he’d experience that specific feeling.

He snapped out of it and shook his head rapidly. “Yeahyeah, look, I was awesome, but at what cost? I’m sitting in front of you – almost ten years later – a broken man!” Asher shrugged. He supposed he had a point. Cid just shook his head and looked down into his smoothie, fumbling his fingers under the table. “I mean, I’m getting better, I guess,” he continued quietly. “It doesn’t matter, man. I’m just trying to say, coming back and having you here to guide me has made me feel like I can be a better person. A good guy like yourself, you’re really helping me out here, and I appreciate it.”

“Am I a good guy? I seem to be asking myself that a lot lately,” murmured Asher as Cid finally took his eyes off of his smoothie and looked back up at his partner. “Kind of funny, you mentioning that. I’m trying, but… I dunno, man.”

“You are a good guy,” Cid insisted. “The more I get to know you, the more I see that. You picked me up when I was down and you inspired me to reach a higher level. I’m so damn thankful for you, Asher.”

“Aw, shucks,” Asher replied, feigning bashfulness. “Maybe I am a good guy, huh?!” 

“I’m being serious. In fact? Let me show you how serious I am about us. About A/C Unit!” He pulled out the box that was resting in his pocket and held it in front of Asher. “Asher, you’re an incredible tag partner. I know this partnership has been short and not necessarily successful, but… look, I’ve teamed with my own brother by blood, but I feel like our bond has the potential to be even deeper than that.”

Asher had a concerned look on his face as he darted between looking at the box and Cid. “Um… what?” 

“Asher Hayes…” Cid opened the box, revealing the ring to Asher who snorted in response and covered his mouth, trying to contain any laughter. “Will you be my partner forever?”

Suddenly, a girl sitting with her boyfriend on the other side of the room screeched. “OhmyGod! Look, he’s proposing! This is so cute!” 

Cid looked over to see her fanning herself while on the verge of tears. “Oh, no, it’s a wrestling th—” 

Asher turned and leaned towards the couple. “Sorry, could you give my boyfriend and I some privacy? Thanks,” he said with a faux smile.

“Sorry, sorry!” she blurted out, still fanning herself. “They’re so cute together,” she gently muttered to herself as she buried her face into her hands while turning away.

Asher turned back to Cid. The whole situation was a bit surreal, but he’d learned to expect stuff like this from his tag partner. “Cidnay. Do I have to wear that ring upon accepting this proposal?” 

“Oh. Well, yeah,” Cid answered.

“On my finger?” 

“Um… I can put it on a necklace maybe?”

Asher chuckled. It seemed like every time they spent some time together, something interesting happened, for better or for worse. “Tell you what,” Asher began as he took the ring out and twirled it between his fingers, “I’ll hold onto it for now. I temporarily accept your proposal. As far as wearing it? Well, let’s get through Breakdown and Apocalypse first, yeah?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Cid groaned. “Apocalypse. I have to team with that bitch ass Jay Gold again.”

“Ohh, yeah, you guys got history, huh?” he asked as he put the ring in his pocket.

“Yeah, I actually attended his wedding forever ago. I was a groomsman, if I recall correctly,” Cid replied regretfully.

“Oh, no shit?!”

“No shit,” Cid confirmed with a sigh. “Ah well. He’s good people. What do you know about Kelsai and those SpecOps boys?” 

“Well, you know as much about SpecOps as I do. As for Kelsai, well… she’s kind of a good girl. Like, she can work and work fast, but man, she’s sweet as candy.”

“How’s she go in the ring?” Cid asked as he took a reluctant sip of his kale smoothie.

“I’d describe her as ‘The Queen of Girl Scout Style’. I think she might be a practicing pacifist, if we’re being honest.”

Cid groaned. “Great. What a squad we’ve assembled. A bitch boy, a pacifist, and a Goddamn military man who could have a PTSD breakdown at any moment. Just… excellent.”

“Don’t stress about it. We’ll take care of business on Breakdown tomorrow and we’ll move on to Apocalypse and do the exact same thing. There’s a lot of experience on our team, man.”

“I guess that’s true,” admitted Cid.

“That it is, friend!” Asher continued. “A/C Unit, the hottest new tag team in the business. Hell, with you and Jay, we got two Hall of Famers! Now, whatever member of SpecOps we get, we can use their military experience to our advantage. Advanced combat tactics, my friend. And hey, Kelsai? That’s the very heart of this team. Everyone needs a little heart and we got a whole lot of it with her! Jay. Asher. Cid. Kelsai. Whoever SpecOps choose to represent their team. I believe in us. I believe in The JACKS Unit.”

Cid suddenly snapped his fingers and pointed at Asher. “The JACKS in the Box,” he suggested.

“Ooh. I like that. Oh, you already know I’m suggesting that one to the team, brother.”

“You know what, man? You’re right,” Cid said, clapping his hands together. It didn’t sound so bad, laid out like that. “We’re gonna kick some ass. Tomorrow night, I’ll take care of this Crystal chick in my first bit of one-on-one action. Then, at Apocalypse, I’ll make you so proud of me that you’ll be showing off that promise ring to all of your friends!”

Asher forced out an awkward laugh. “Yup, you bet, buddy!” he said through gritted teeth.

“Hell yeah! What a great lunch this turned out to be, huh? This was awesome, man,” Cid said with a smile before suddenly deadpanning. “All right, let’s get outta this joint. It smells like fuckin’ kale and cat shit in here.”

---

“So, it seems that everyone’s coming out of the woodwork now. Katie Steward returned, in such a fashion that would certainly make the Cid Turner of old proud. We’ve been seeing a lot of familiar faces here recently, before Katie, before me. Jay Gold, my son Matt Hodges, Holly Adams. Even further back, David Helms is living proof that an old, familiar face can be even more than what they used to be. The goal is that when we finish, we haven’t completely ruined our legacies by hanging on just that extra bit too long. 

On the other hand, we have some new faces here as well. The Demon Slayer Subarashi continues to impress while young Erica Eden tries to make a name for herself while under the tutelage of Josh Hudson. You also have the frightening group of SpecOps, who seem to be standing for a positive message at least, but it’s kind of hard to trust authority these days, isn’t it? Whatever they’re doing, their mission is to be successful here in SCW, just like everyone else. Honestly, I welcome it. Who wouldn’t want some emotionally scarred war vets running around and doing battle with a man who exorcises you of your demons by kneeing you in the head? This is what wrestling is all about.

Then, you have Crystal Zdunich and her friend Maria Salvatore. I’ll be completely honest, despite their success in other parts of the world, I don’t know much about them. I guess Crystal is a 100-time World Champion and a 50-time Hall of Famer? Look, I don’t know. Admittedly, I’m an SCW shill. Can you blame me? It’s the only place that will take me. So, with that being said, I can only judge Crystal and Maria by what they’ve done in SCW.

Since I’m not actually facing Ms. Salvatore, I’ll be quick about this. She has a wonderful collection of fedoras. She holds an irrational hatred for Konrad Raab. She’s almost a caricature of an Italian, fiery temper and ridiculous accent included. Seeing her on TV, I seriously thought someone was doing a racist impersonation of an Italian person, but once she kept going, I realized that this bitch is real. Really, it’s almost wholesome, in a way. She’s clearly proud of her roots and her culture and I’m sure Italians all over the world are glad to see some representation in SCW. Has to be inspiring to turn on the TV and see your culture represented by someone beating the hell out of random people while rocking a fedora. Now, I would be worried about her being at ringside, but I can only assume from my limited knowledge of her that she’ll be in the back chasing down Konrad with a rolling pin – fedora still fully attached – while her 126-time World Champion friend tries to make a name for herself by beating someone in apparently the only Hall of Fame she hasn’t found herself in just yet.

Crystal, I’ll be honest. I actually see potential in you. Hell, I might see potential in the both of you as a team. I guess I wouldn’t mind a psychopathic Italian in my corner. Anyway, you started off pretty hot here in SCW. Even with that loss at Rise to Greatness, it’s hard to deny you. You didn’t pick up the win, but if not for Holly Adams, you very well may have. You’re someone to keep an eye on.

So, what will you grow into? It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Growth. Are we just destined to walk a certain predetermined path, or can we stray a different way through personal growth? I’ve always thought that I was put into this business to annoy people. That sounds kind of depressing, but honestly, I enjoyed it. When I heard that someone in the back hated my guts, all it did was make me try even harder to humiliate them in the ring, just to show them how far their hate got them. When I stood in the middle of that ring after a victory and was showered with boos, I let it soak all over me. That in itself was a reward for my hard work.

I think I’m learning that I can be more than that, though. I’m trying to prove that you can break away from whatever labels people stick to you. Does that make me a good person? Does that erase everything that I’ve done? No. Not at all. It’s a start, though. At some point, I’m going to leave SCW. I don’t know when. Could be tomorrow, could be next week, could be a year from now. Who knows? All I know is that when I leave SCW, I want to be living proof that people can change. I want to be someone that’s always remembered, not just because of how much of a shit they were. I want to be remembered and looked up to. I want to inspire the future, someone like you, Crystal.

Breakdown will be a defining moment in your SCW career. Our SCW careers, really. We’re not on whatever soap opera that you managed to grab an appearance on to earn the moniker of ‘The Silver Screen Queen’. This is real life. This is SCW. This Wednesday, you go head-to-head with a member of the SCW Hall of Fame. By the end of the match, we might just get a look at what we’re both going to be for the rest of our careers here. What about you? Legend slayer? Future Hall of Famer? Are you going to live up to your obvious potential, or is Breakdown going to prove that sometimes, potential just goes unfulfilled?

As for me? Well, like I said, this match means a lot to me. My first singles match since making that decision to return to SCW. When it’s all said and done, what am I going to be? If I lose, am I going to revert to my old ways, throw a tantrum, and once again leave? When I face any sort of true adversity, am I going to find a shortcut to take instead of facing it head-on? Or we could see a replay of Rise to Greatness. All this talk, it could just lead to me falling just short, once again. Maybe that’s just what I am now, huh? That could be, but I choose to believe that I’m more than that. I want to be more than that, and at Breakdown, I plan on proving that I am more than that, by picking up my first singles victory upon my return here. I guess the question you gotta ask yourself after that is, ‘where do I go from here’? As for me, I know where I’m going. I’m starting the rest of my career.”