Old Man

February 11, 2021

It wasn’t even an hour ago that Cid Turner told Asher Hayes – and perhaps himself – that A/C Unit had a Tag League to win, even going as far as crumpling up a personal message from Chad Evans and throwing it on the floor defiantly. Such bravery, such confidence. Not long after the cameras left, though, he found himself sitting in his locker, staring blankly ahead as Asher tended to his back. Pinning Andrew Raynes was one of the biggest moments of A/C Unit’s tenure, but he couldn’t even enjoy it, and not just because their night wasn’t over yet.

To Cid’s side was a Playstation 2 with an old copy of Madden NFL 2006 laid on top of it. A mock gift from Chad, put there only to get inside Cid’s head. A reminder of his past stung enough, but what hurt the most was the letter that came with it. “Sorry you lost,” it began. Chad didn’t even believe in him enough to get by the first round of the night.

Cid looked down to see the crumpled up piece of paper at his feet. Keeping Asher in the corner of his eye, he saw a moment to grab the paper unnoticed. Swiftly and silently, he crouched down and grabbed it before discreetly peeling it open. Through the ragged creases, he once again read it.

Sorry you lost.

The fact that it got to him so much just made everything worse. He felt like a child. Just a kid, desperate for his father’s approval, despite the mental and physical abuse inflicted by the very same man. It doesn’t matter that he got his own place, had friends and family, and was successful at his job. With no words of encouragement or congratulations, it all felt so empty and meaningless. And so, here the boy was, sinking further into his locker, growing smaller and smaller, desperate for something even as simple as a ‘good job, kid’.

After every beaten opponent, there was hope. Hope that maybe Chad would just say it. He’d come out, admit he was wrong, shake Cid’s hand, and just say it. “Good job,” he’d say. “You did it, son,” he’d continue in that stoic voice of his. “I’m proud of you,” he’d admit, finally.

Thinking on it, tonight had to be the night. If Cid fought as hard as he possibly could, he and Asher could overcome the odds and finish the Tag League without a loss on their record, becoming the first and likely only SCW Tag League Champions. That’s what Chad was waiting to see all this time, surely. An accolade.

After the dust had settled following an epic war between A/C Unit and The Psychonauts where Asher and Cid stood tall at the end, Chad’s music would play. He’d step out onto the stage, walk down that ramp, up the steps, step over the laid out corpses of Cookie Dreams and Jordan Majors, and it would be just like Cid had been imagining all this time. Chad would come close. Maybe they’d even share a hug. And then…

“I’m proud of you.”

Or maybe he’d just kick him in the balls again.

Cid sighed and folded the paper in two before pulling his back off of the wall of his locker. While slipping the letter into his bag to the side, he spotted another piece of paper. It was one of many threatening letters he’d received over the last few years, although he had no idea he’d been receiving them until just a few days prior. With all of the commotion of the Tag League and the insulting gift from Chad, Cid had forgotten that he even brought the thing. While tonight he was on a mission to win the Tag League, he was also on a mission to find out just who the hell had been sending these things. There was only one pair of women he trusted with the job at the moment.

Cid plucked the anonymous letter out of his bag and stood up, quickly shoving it down the side of his tights. “I, uh,” he began before clearing his throat, “I gotta go see the trainer. My neck… feels… strange.”

Asher looked up while still maintaining a stretch. “Shit, really?” he asked with concern. Cid nodded. “I guess I probably should, too. I’ll come with ya, just to check on my back.”

“NO!”

Asher jolted back a bit from the random outburst. “Um… what?”

Cid desperately wanted to show Asher the letters he’d gotten, but he was trying to remain strong. It wasn’t that long ago that Asher sat Cid down and basically told him that the only way to grow stronger would be to stop using Asher as a crutch. Asher had finally taken the training wheels off in an attempt to let his brother learn to ride.

So, instead of using Asher as a crutch, Cid had to secretly seek out others to rely on. He still wasn’t quite ready to ride the big boy bike. Now after looking like a sufferer of tourette’s, he had to cover his tracks. “Oh… I mean… no. Because… I called dibs. So you’d have to stand there waiting for me to go first… and that’d hurt your back. So… hey, I’ll just come get you when I’m done. I’ll carry you. You know, to help your back.”

Asher just stared at him for a few moments as Cid’s mind raced, now thinking of all of the better excuses he could have given. Fortunately, Asher shrugged and nodded. “Sure. Come get me when you’re done.”

“Right, yup,” chirped Cid as he blew by the stretching Asher and made his way out into the halls of the arena.

Cid’s targets were Kimberly Williams and Jessica Lasiewicz, the team known as Vengeance. His intentions were to hire them to investigate the strange letters he’d been receiving. Could he and should he have just called the cops for this? Most definitely. However, a job like this, it needed someone who wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty. Kim and Jessica, they’d rip right through any red tape in front of them.

After a brief bit of aimless wandering, Cid saw Kim in the distance. She was easy enough to spot, tinkering away at something on a crate in front of her with the ridiculous Lizard Championship around her waist, as well as a pair of double boards to her side. ‘All Hail the Lizard King,’ they read. Jessica was nowhere to be seen, so Kim would have to do for now.

Cid walked up behind Kim and tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey, Kimmy, I—”

Suddenly, Kim swung around and plowed her first right into Cid’s stomach. Cid keeled over and fell to his hands and knees on the dirty floor. For such a small woman, she packed an enormous punch. It was all explained when Cid briefly saw the Infinity Gauntlet around her arm just before tunnel vision set in. He fell further to the floor, confident that he was seconds away from lying unconscious in a pool of his own vomit from the vicious gut shot.

“Oh, Jesus!” Kim cried out. “I’m sorry, Jesus! I thought you were coming for my Lizard Championship!”

Kim threw the gauntlet off and knelt down to assist the son of God Himself. Cid felt himself coming back to Earth as he was pulled to his feet. “What the hell was that?!” he asked, clutching his ribs while trying to stand up straight.

“If this is The Second Coming, please don’t hold this against me! My righteousness is unmatched!”

“I’m—” Cid cut himself off and placed his hand on his stomach. Something was coming up. Whether it was his guts or his lunch, he wasn’t sure. He tried his best to swallow it down before continuing. “I’m not Jesus! Why would Jesus be wearing wrestling gear?! I’m Cid!”

“Cid who?” 

“How many Cids do you work with?! Turner! Cid Turner!”

Kim blinked repeatedly while trying to put it all together. Then, it clicked. “Ohh, Asher’s weird friend.”

“Yeah,” Cid scoffed, still favoring his ribs. “Asher’s weird friend.” 

Kim suddenly pulled what could only be described as a prison shank from the back of her pants, waving it in the air like a madwoman. “So you are here for my Lizard Championship,” she snarled before lifting the shank further up and pointing it down at Cid like it was a fencing sword. “En garde!” 

Instinctively, Cid threw his hands over his head and ducked as if that would protect him from being stabbed to death. “Why do you have a fucking knife backstage?! I’m not here for your stupid Championship!” 

Kim lowered the knife to her side and looked noticeably offended. “Well, you don’t have to call it stupid. Are you questioning the prestige of the Lizard Championship?” 

Cid stopped ducking and stood up straight to take a breath. “No, it’s not that, it’s— well, yes, it’s stupid, but whatever! It’s fine! I’m not here for that! Put the Goddamn knife away, please!”

Kim shook her head. “It’s not even real, anyway,” she shot back in annoyance at Cid’s protesting. “I gave my real one to Sasha to protect herself from would-be lizard exterminators. This is just a rubber fake. See, look.”

Kim plunged the shank into her left bicep and – much like Cid when she rearranged his insides with a toy meant for children – found herself sucking air with a harsh gasp as the shank surprisingly broke the skin and went right into her arm.

In as much shock as the person who was just stabbed and with a hand over his mouth, Cid asked, “are you okay?!”

“Whoa,” Kim laughed as she yanked the shank out, a quick spurt of blood shooting out, “that hurt!” The blood poured out at an alarming rate as Cid looked on, still covering his mouth in horror. Kim shrugged and smiled, throwing the bloody shank onto the crate behind her. “I guess that means Sasha has the fake one. That’s… concerning… anyway, what’d you want?”

The amount of blood oozing out of Kim’s open wound was actually repulsive. Cid finally took his hand from his mouth and asked for confirmation, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“Calm down, Cid, it didn’t even hit bone,” she replied calmly. Too calmly, in fact. “Should be fine.”

Cid swallowed his fears and tried his best not to make eye contact with the gaping wound. “Right, okay… well, I wanted to ask you a favor.”

“I’m not having sex with you,” Kim deadpanned.

“What?” asked Cid, shaking his head, feeling even more flustered now. “No, I—… wh-what? No, I’m not asking for that.”

“Oh, so I’m not pretty enough for you?” 

“Oh, for—” Cid cut himself off and rubbed both sides of his temples with his pointer fingers with both eyes shut. “Look, can I just talk to Jessica? Is she around?”

“Stay away from Jessica, you pervert!”

Cid opened his eyes and grabbed Kim’s arms to grab her full attention. “Kim, I—” He stopped, noticing that his finger was about halfway through her left arm. Kim looked down at the insertion, looking mostly indifferent. Cid gently withdrew his finger from the wound and flicked the blood behind him, opting to just keep his hands at his sides for now. “Kim,” he continued, calmly this time. “I am not here for intercourse. I am not here for your Lizard Championship. I am not here to fight you. You and Jessica, you have both been hired hands and great protectors of Sasha and her family. I’ve been impressed by you two. You’re loyal soldiers.”

“It has been my honor to serve under the Lizard King and his kingdom,” she interrupted with a melodramatic tone.

Cid just stared at her with a vacant look on his face. “Okay, great,” he continued, “now, I’ve discovered something disturbing. I wanna hire you two to investigate it for me.”

“Ohh, investigate?” Her interest was piqued. She tilted her head and looked up, taking a moment to daydream. “Detective Kimmy,” she whispered theatrically before nodding her head a few times. She looked back at Cid, now with a smile on her face. “I love it! No need to get Jess involved, Detective Kimmy is on the case!”

Cid sighed as silence quickly filled the space between them once again. “Alright,” he began with exasperation, “are you taking this seriously? Because the way you’re saying ‘Detective Kimmy’, it’s making me think that you’re not taking this seriously.”

Kim straightened her back, stuck her chest out, and stood up nice and straight. “Of course,” she stated stoically. “I take my duties as Lizard Champion very seriously.”

Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Cid thought. “Alright, so,” he began, taking the letter out from his tights.

“Ew.”

“I received this in my mail,” he continued, handing it to Kim, who immediately began to inspect it. Seeing it, it was clear that the letter was threatening. Maybe not life-threatening, but threatening nonetheless. Kim seemed to be amused with the content. “Obviously made with magazines, cutting out all the letters. Real old school, real creepy.”

“Intriguing…”

“I dunno, I was kinda hoping you guys could just keep an eye on me. Protect me. At most, maybe look into it, but if you’re going full ‘Detective Kimmy’, then, well, maybe you can actually figure it out for me?”

“Hmm,” Kim hummed curiously. She brought the letter up to her nose and took a long whiff. It was a disgusting act and the look on Cid’s face conveyed that quite well. As if that wasn’t enough, she brought it down to her lips while slowly opening her mouth. With her maw fully agape, she very slowly began to bring her tongue towards the letter.

“Please don’t lick that,” Cid pleaded softly. Kim then licked it. “Okay, you licked it,” he said flatly. “You saw me pull that from out of my tights. I just had a match out there, not that long ago.”

“Ah,” Kim exclaimed, taking the letter away from her mouth and following it up with a few clicks of her tongue. “That explains the salty sadness… but with a hint of victory.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Don’t question my process!”

By this point, Kim’s entire left arm was soaked with blood. Cid realized that this woman was likely approaching delirium, assuming she hadn’t already fully arrived there already. “D’ya want me to take you to the trainer’s room?” he asked with concern, briefly glancing at her arm. “That’s lookin’ pretty serious.”

“I don’t know you… but I’ll help you,” Kim declared while ignoring Cid’s suggestion. “Just give me a few days to look into this and I’ll give you a call. I’ll drop by your locker room after tonight and give you my details. Detective Kimmy is on the case!”

“Okay, well, feel free to talk to Jessica if—”

“Detective Kimmy!”

“Okay,” Cid muttered in defeat. There was no stopping the crazy train at this point. Might as well enjoy the ride. “Thanks for helping me out, Kim.”

Kim threw the letter back onto the crate and nodded at Cid. “Anything to please the Lizard Kingdom!”

“Okay, well, I’m not a lizard, so—”

“Hey, do you feel lightheaded?”

“No,” Cid answered bluntly. “I imagine you’re feeling that way ‘cause the pool of blood forming at your feet from the cavernous hole in your arm.”

Kim shifted her eyes back and forth. “Are you sure that it’s just me? It feels very lightheaded in here.”

Cid looked down at the blood dripping to the ground, up to Kim’s hand, and finally right into the gash in her left bicep. Blood didn’t normally make him queasy, but… seeing all this blood, all over the floor and all over Kim’s arm… the entire area seemed to shift slightly. He gulped. “Y’know, now that you mention it…”

“Cid,” Asher called out, seemingly appearing out of nowhere by his friend’s side, snapping Cid out of his episode. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve—” He spotted the copious amounts of blood on the ground, as well as the still profusely bleeding laceration on Kim’s arm. “Um… hey, Kim.” Kim looked at Asher, a bit dazed. “You’re bleeding.”

She looked down at the wound again and shrugged. “Just a flesh wound,” she stated nonchalantly while returning her glazed gaze to Asher. “It’ll be alright.”

Cid cleared his throat and got closer to Asher. “Hey, sorry, I finished up at the trainer’s and was just comin’ to get ya,” he lied. “But then I stumbled upon this, so…”

“Ah, no worries, man,” Asher said with a nod. “Neck all good?”

“All good.”

“That’s great,” Asher chuckled as Kim continued to bleed out next to them. He looked at her. “Hey, maybe we should bring ‘er with us while I get checked out.”

Cid shrugged his shoulders. “Probably.”

---

💕💕💕 February 14, 2021 💕💕💕

It had been a few days since Cid had heard from Kim. The last time they spoke was the text Cid received from her immediately after exchanging contact information, if you can even count that as speaking. It was a three part text, laying out what her detective services entailed and the fees attached to it all, which Cid found interesting considering that her agency literally didn’t exist until he brought her the letter. And yet, beneath the numerous admin fees and hazard pay, there was a premium service fee, since apparently her day old agency had a stunning reputation, along with a 100% success rate.

Regardless, Cid paid the woman. She insisted she’d get back to him in a matter of days, but here Cid was, still fearing for his life while carrying the week’s groceries into his kitchen, three days later.

He plopped two bags into the island in the middle of the kitchen and began to huff and puff. “Good God,” he said through heavy breaths, “I hate being fat and forty.”

Trailing him were Clyde Warner – his friend/replacement adult son/grocery shopper and carrier/house cook/protégé – and Cid’s Russian mail-order bride, Elizaveta. Both placed their bags on the island just next to Cid’s. “Grocery!” Elizaveta happily cried.

After spending the previous couple of months on Hooked on Phonics, her understanding of the English language had grown at a quick pace. She’d learnt more English words in the last month or two than she had in her previous near-decade in the States.

“Grocery!” 

It was actually getting annoying. Hooked on Phonics was a mistake.

“Liz,” Cid barked, catching her attention, “can you just put ’em away? Please?”

“Yes, yes,” she chirped enthusiastically. It was at least easier telling her what to do now that she was getting a grasp on the language. There was a certain charm, however, when they used to have to strictly communicate with their expressions and the volume of their voices.

Clyde joined her in putting everything away as Cid took a seat on a nearby stool to watch his underlings do his bidding. He was interrupted by a ringing from his pocket. The caller had to be Kim. Pulling it out of his pocket, he answered immediately without even looking. “Kim!” he yelped somewhat angrily.

“Hello?” came the voice of an older woman from the other end.

“Oh,” Cid mumbled while sloping his shoulders in disappointment. “Mother.”

“Who’s Kim?”

“Sorry, she’s just a friend from work.”

There was a pause between the two. “You better not be seeing anyone behind Elizaveta’s back,” Cid’s mother warned. She had taken a liking to Elizaveta, whereas Cid almost detested the relationship between his wife and his mother. She was the one, after all, who got Elizaveta Hooked on Phonics.

“First of all, I told you that my marriage with Elizaveta is not typical,” Cid retorted sternly. “Second, I’m not sleeping with Kim. Why does everyone assume I’m trying to sleep with Kim?” 

“I don’t know, dear, I’m not familiar with her, but your brother told me about the term ‘ringrat’, so I’m just making sure that you’re not doing anything unsavoury.”

“Alright, well… I’m not,” he stated emphatically before sighing. “What’d you want, ma?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Oh, shit, Cid thought while looking at Elizaveta and Clyde continuing to put the groceries away. He had completely forgotten. While he and Elizaveta certainly weren’t in love – or even lust – with one another, he had made an effort to get her something for the occasion, just as a symbol. Plus, it looked good when the government questioned the legitimacy of their marriage. Any true marriage had a cheapass, raggedy, dollar store teddy bear as a memento of their love.

“Cidney?”

Cid snapped out of the crisis presenting itself in his head. “Oh, right. Happy V-Day,” he cheered apathetically. “Hope you and dad have a good one.”

“What’d you get for Elizaveta?”

“… a horse.”

“A horse?!” 

“A pony, to be exact,” he lied. “She, uh… she loved it.”

“Ohh,” his mother moaned, expressing her amazement at the wonderful gift that didn’t actually exist. “That’s very thoughtful of you! I’m so glad you’ve got someone that makes you happy enough to buy something like that for ’em.” There was a moment of silence on the other end. “Not to harp on about it, but have you called Elizabeth yet? Today might be a good day, just to wish her well!”

Cid stifled a groan and just clenched his teeth. Any harder, Clyde would likely be taking him to the dentist after the call ended. Ever since rekindling with his family, it felt like every single one of them had suggested Cid get in touch with his ex-wife Elizabeth. While Cid hadn’t spoken to her for eight years nearly to the day, Elizabeth stayed a family friend with the Turners, as she always had been ever since her marriage to Cid.

It was easy enough for his family to still be on good terms with her, talking every so often. They didn’t sleep with her, experience a life-changing event, lash out at her, and then vow to never speak to her again, all in the span of two days almost a decade ago. If Cid hadn’t done all that, sure, he’d probably feel more comfortable giving her a call.

As Cid tried to formulate a response that wasn’t screaming at his loving mother, he saw Clyde pull out a bar of chocolate and a ridiculously huge lollipop out of the last bag of groceries. As Elizaveta turned around, she was greeted by an eager Clyde, excitedly displaying the goods. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he squealed.

Elizaveta gasped and grabbed her gifts, grouping them against her chest as she reached out and gave Clyde a single-armed hug. Cid looked on in confusion. “Alright, ma, talk to you later,” Cid said as he abruptly ended the call, putting his phone on the island in front of him. He shot up and walked around the island to break the embrace between the two. With a couple of flicks of the wrist, he shooed Elizaveta away. “Go, go. Go enjoy your candies.”

Following a shrug and a smile, Elizaveta disappeared. With Elizaveta gone, Cid slowly turned to Clyde with an expectant look on his face. Clyde’s typical stupid smile disappeared from his face as he looked to his mentor. “… why are you looking at me like that?”

Cid stayed silent, staring Clyde down. “Why’d you do that?” he finally asked.

Just based on Cid’s tone, Clyde wasn’t sure the safest way to answer that. Stil, he’d try his best. “I, um,” he began, stumbling out of the gate, “well, uh… just to show our appreciation, y’know?”

“Appreciation?”

“… yeah. For all she does for us.”

Again, Cid stared his mentee down. Bringing up two fingers, he pointed to his own eyes before pointing them back to Clyde. “I’m watchin’ you,” he whispered.

“Uh… why?” Clyde whispered back.

“You know why. Now, go.”

On command, Clyde slowly walked backwards, almost sneaking out of the kitchen as Cid watched him the whole way. Was there something deeper in Clyde’s act? Likely not. Did Cid actually care if there was something between Clyde and Elizaveta? Even less likely. It was just the principle of it, Cid supposed. He hoped that Clyde would at least ask permission before screwing his fake wife.

Really, he was probably overreacting thanks to his rising anxiety as a result of Kimberly Williams apparently ghosting him. Reaching over to grab his phone, he quickly checked for any new messages.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  Did Cid put her life in danger as a result of his requests? Was she killed while investigating? Yeah, probably, he assumed.

At least she died doing what she loved, presumably. “Serving the Lizard Kingdom,” in her words… and really, they were at least an interesting set of last words.

---

February 18, 2021

“What the—… Kim!”

A perfectly safe and – at least physically speaking – sound Kim popped her head up and turned at the sound of her name. She’d arrived at the arena not that long ago and was preparing both mentally and physically for the massive gauntlet for the biggest prize in SCW, which was only a few hours away. She thought she had found a safe place, but now, she had some company.

Coming at her was Cid, who looked more confused than angry. She clenched her fists, still, ready to fight. “I may be fighting for the World Championship tonight, but I’ll still defend this Lizard Championship with my life,” she declared confidently.

Cid reached his destination and stopped, taking a moment to look at Kim’s Lizard Championship around her waist. It was still as ridiculous as it was a week ago. He shook his head, looking back up at Kim. “No, I told you, I don’t want that,” he explained again. “I don’t care about that! Christ, Kim, I thought you died!”

“I can only die when my duty has been fulfilled.”

“So you didn’t find anything?”

Kim narrowed her eyes. “What d’ya mean?”

“With the letter.”

“Which letter? There are 26 of ‘em!”

“What? No, the— Jesus,” Cid cringed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had to be as literal as possible. Eyes still closed, he elaborated, “I’m referring to the threatening letter that I gave you last week.” There was no reply. With his eyes closed, he assumed she still wasn’t quite there yet. “I hired you.” Nothing. “I hired you to look into the letters.” Still, nothing. He finally opened his eyes and looked her dead in the eyes… her soft, perplexed eyes. “‘Detective Kimmy’?”

Damn it, Kim thought. She had completely forgotten. Even now, she couldn’t even fully recall what it was all about. There was a letter. That much she was certain about. To make things worse, she also remembered accepting payment for the whole thing.

She took a moment to ponder, wondering how to best explain this whole thing away. In her defense, she had a title match to worry about, and that’s not even mentioning the open challenge she put out for her Lizard Championship. She considered just saying all of this aloud. Maybe Cid would buy it.

But again, she remembered the accepted payment. She couldn’t just blow this off. She had to produce something that showed she’d been working on the case. But what sounded believable? Based off of the brief flashes of memory from their conversation a week prior, she guessed that he was stupid enough to where she wouldn’t have to come up with a great story. But still, what would work best here?

Cid blinked rapidly, feeling like he was about to explode. Kim was just staring up, tilting her head in different directions every now and again, completely lost in thought for what felt like a few minutes. “Kim!” he shouted in an attempt to actually get an answer from the woman.

“I know who it is,” Kim blurted out. Cid didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect it.

“Are you sure? Because about ten seconds ago, it seemed like you had no idea.”

“Well, sure,” she said before clearing her throat. “That’s because I was whittling down the list of suspects in my head. Now, I’ve come to a conclusion.”

Cid raised his eyebrows and waited for the grand reveal. He assumed that she was about to lay it all out, but instead, she just stared at him. “… and?”

Kim saw a unique opportunity in front of her. With that in mind, she finally said it. “Giovanni Aries.”

“What?”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“Clearly, he sees that you – like me – are a servant of the Lizard King,” Kim said with a confident nod. “Must’ve gotten word that you sought out my help! That’s all it takes, really.”

Cid thought about it for a moment. “Wait, that makes no sense,” he stated, letting out a brief, empty laugh. “I only just asked you for help last week. I’ve been receiving those letters for years, potentially.”

“Oh, Cid, you poor thing,” Kim shot back, almost mockingly. “You really underestimate his power. He’s borderline clairvoyant.”

“Considering he’s likely never heard of me until last year and I only met you last week, I’d say that this clears the border.”

“Seriously, I’ve done the research. I’d show you my detective notepad, but, well… I actually lost it in the middle of the investigation,” she revealed sombrely, hoping Cid was as dumb as she believed. “I ran into some shady types, some things were said, there was a scuffle… it’s not easy out here for a detective, I tell ya.”

Cid leaned his back onto the wall and looked up at the ceiling. “Giovanni Aries,” he thought aloud. Maybe it made a little sense, at least. Gio was clearly into mind games. There was also the fact that A/C Unit beat The Wonderland on the first show back after Rise to Greatness. Plus, for all he knew, Gio was clairvoyant, but maybe Gio was also a Cid Turner fan as a tyke. That would explain the years of letters despite Cid’s television absence. Cid clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Maybe. Just seems strange, is all…”

“Well, be that as it may, I say we take care of this… tonight!”

Cid suddenly felt a pit in his stomach. “Tonight?” he questioned, following it up with a hard swallow.

“I have some inside information, in fact,” fibbed Kim. “It has to be tonight.”

The truth was, Gio had been a thorn in her side for a while now. Taking him out tonight would not only be a great service to the Lizard Kingdom, but it would also take one of the bigger threats out of the upcoming gauntlet entirely. Cid was unknowingly being made into a soldier of the Lizard Kingdom.

Cid took a deep breath. This needed to be addressed. All of this stuff with Chad, even that alone was more than he felt he could handle. The letters needed to be taken care of and – thanks to Kim – the end of that particular nuisance was in sight. “Okay,” he relented with a shaky exhale. “Let’s do it.”

---

“43 bottles of beer on the wall, 43 bottles of beer! One falls down, pass it around, 42 bottles of beer on the wall!”

Cid and Kim were in the middle of an old-fashioned stakeout and – more annoyingly – in the middle of “99 Bottles of Beer”. Kim had been at it for quite awhile at this point, of course starting all the way back at 99, which honestly felt like an eternity ago.

Together, they sat on a pair of folding chairs, hidden just behind a van in the parking lot of the arena. Kim’s “inside information” was revealed to be the fact that Gio and his Wonderland crew could often be spotted in the parking lot before the shows every week, doing God knows what. Well, God, and maybe Cid and Kim in a few moments.

Assuming Cid survived the wait.

“42 bottles of beer on the wall, 42 bottles of—“

“Can you stop that please?” Cid asked softly.

“I can, but it’d get boring real quick,” Kim replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Show’s not for another couple of hours, so…” 

“Maybe we can just talk? You know, instead of singing,” suggested Cid, saying a silent prayer that Kim would oblige.

“Talking’s good,” Kim said before pausing for a moment, looking out into the parking lot to see if The Wonderland had shown up. No dice. She turned back to Cid. “Have you ever taken acid and killed a bear in the woods?”

“No,” answered Cid without hesitation. “No, I have not.” Kim shrugged. That was her effort in small talk. Before she could start singing again, Cid spoke of the first thing that came to mind. “Hey, a penny for your thoughts on something?”

“A penny?” asked Kim with a look of disgust on her face. “How cheap do I look to you?”

“It’s a phrase… I’m not actually trying to make an exchange here.”

“I want at least a dollar.”

“Jesus, Kim, can’t you just put it on my tab? You’re making a killin’ off me already with this investigation.”

Kim stroked her chin thoughtfully, looking into Cid’s beady eyes before nodding softly. “I suppose I could. Go on, then.”

“I’m having some issues with my father,” Cid admitted.

Kim held her hands up, stopping Cid in his mental tracks. “You’re talking to the wrong girl about familial issues.”

“What, you too?”

“You have no idea.”

“Who better to ask then, really?” Conceding was Kim with a slight shrug before Cid continued. “Anyway, I don’t actually mean my dad. I… misspoke, I guess. I’m talking about Chad Evans.”

“Ohh,” Kim moaned, nodding along, “yup, I’ve been there. Chad wants to kill you. Family trying to kill family.” She sighed, almost wistfully so. “It happens.”

“Damn, really? Who tried to kill you?”

Kim laughed. “No, no, I was the one doing the attempted murder,” she admitted, still laughing. “I guess I should’ve clarified.”

This woman was terrifying to Cid, but he didn’t want to offend her. All he could do was smile and nod in return. “Interesting,” he said, trying to sound as natural as possible. “Well, maybe that’ll help, speaking to someone with that kind of experience.” He stopped to think about some of what he’d been through with Chad. He couldn’t help but sigh. “I don’t know. He has his issues. I know he wants to take me out permanently. Whether it’s actually about caring for my well-being or whatever, I don’t really know. I’ve been told a lot of different things. Jealousy, tough love, straight up mental illness. Dunno, it could be all of the above.”

“How long is this story?” Kim asked bluntly, making Cid feel like an idiot for rambling on.

“Look, I just wanna make him proud,” Cid blurted out abruptly. “I wanna end this shit. Me and him, we’re fuckin’ best friends, man. He’s my mentor. I look up to him. I don’t want to fight him. I wanna embrace him, tell him I’m sorry for everything I did, and have him forgive me. Everything he’s done, I can forgive ‘im for it. I want ‘im to see that everything I’m doin’ out there in that ring, I’m doin’ it for people like him, like Hodges. Like the rest of my family, the rest of my fans. I’m tryin’ to make amends here and end things the right fuckin’ way.” His sentence was finished with a yawn from Kim. “What?”

“You’re so naïve,” she said.

“Alright, for someone who claimed that I was talkin’ to the wrong person, you’ve sure perked up.”

“You’ll never impress him,” Kim continued firmly. “He’ll never be proud of you. You’ll never embrace him. He’ll never grant you the forgiveness that you seek. People spend their entire lives chasing that dream, but the fact is, people like him just aren’t built that way.”

Cid shook his head in defeat while biting his lower lip. “Then what the fuck do I do?”

“Again, you’re talking to the wrong girl,” she said, turning again to look out into the parking lot. “Really, I don’t know. Try your best not to become him, I guess, if it means that much to you. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Become him…”

Cid wondered if that was a possibility. So much time thinking about not falling into his own old habits, he never thought of the possibility of inheriting new habits. If it was true that children often ended up like their fathers, did that mean that he was eventually going to fall into the same hole that Chad found himself in?

It’s not like Cid had a good grip on himself as it stood. A day didn’t go by where he didn’t think he was going to become a paraplegic, a day didn’t go by where he didn’t think that there was an illness inside him that was slowly killing him. He couldn’t control these thoughts. If he couldn’t handle something like that that was completely in his control, how could he expect himself to control the hand he was dealt by genetics?

Genetics, he repeated in his mind. He’s not actually your dad, you fuckin’ idiot.

“You’re really boring,” said Kim, breaking Cid free from the shithole that was his mind. “If you weren’t so boring, you probably wouldn’t care about this stuff.”

Cid drew a heavy sigh. “Yeah,” he conceded, “you’re probably right.”

“Shush,” Kim snapped, suddenly shifting out of her chair and swiftly pulling up close to the van in a crouch. She looked back at Cid and tilted her head back, signalling for him to follow. Cid got up and crouched down low to take his place next to Kim. “There they are,” she whispered.

Cid peeked around the corner and saw it for himself. The Wonderland, all three of them. Giovanni Aries, Cain Adams, and Alice Ames. For some reason, they were hovering around the area with the dumpsters, specifically next to recycling. Cid leaned in close to Kim to whisper, “why are they—”

“Oh, my God, your breath stinks!”

“Oh,” he whispered back before sheepishly backing off, “sorry. Why are they at the dumpsters?”

“Hmm,” Kim hummed, studying the scene from about 20 yards out. “That’s probably where they dump all of their lizard victims. The savages…”

“Nah, that’s recycling,” Cid retorted while pointing out to the dumpsters. “The yellow top means recycling.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, if they’re dumping bodies, recycling makes no sense,” Cid said with a soft chuckle. “You can’t recycle a dead body. It’s waste. I mean, I doubt they’re that ignorant.”

“Are you serious right now? C’mon,” Kim shot back angrily. “This man wrote you letters. Scary letters! Stop worrying about what they’re doing, just get ready to take them out!”

“Take ‘em out?”

“Yeah,” Kim confirmed as she reached back near her chair to grab a black bag, dragging it back towards her before digging around in it. “What’d you think we were gonna do?”

“I dunno,” Cid admitted. “Just… maybe talk to Gio, figure out why he’s sending me stuff, I guess.” From the bag, Kim pulled out the Infinity Gauntlet, briefly giving Cid Vietnam-style flashbacks. The benefit of not actually being a war veteran suffering from PTSD was that he could easily shake it off. “What the fuck?”

“Take this,” said Kim as she shoved it into Cid’s chest. He reluctantly grabbed it and looked at it. “Use it wisely.”

Cid slipped it on, shaking his head all the while. “This is ridiculous,” he remarked. Also coming out of the bag was a staple gun, proudly being thrust into the air by Kim. “Jesus.”

“Where we’re goin’,” she began, shooting a staple into the air, “Jesus ain’t welcome. Let’s go!”

Kim suddenly sprung up and started sprinting towards The Wonderland while shooting her staple gun off wildly and screaming. “Shit, wait,” Cid called out, quickly scrambling up to get after her.

Due to the shooting and screaming, it was not exactly a sneak attack. Gio turned to see Kim coming and rolled his eyes before nodding to Cain and Alice, who then got into position on both sides of the dumpster. Kim lunged at Gio, who calmly stepped out of the way, resulting in Kim landing hard on her stomach right onto the rim of the dumpster, her Lizard Championship belt unclasping on her waist due to the impact. Cain grabbed her legs and pushed her all the way in before slamming the lid shut. Alice hopped up on the dumpster and stood on top of it, trapping Kim inside.

An out of breath Cid awkwardly caught up, only to see The Wonderland in complete control. As Kim banged on the inside of the dumpster, Cid took in his surroundings.

He was fucked.

He brought up the stupid Infinity Gauntlet. It was likely that everyone here noticed how much he was shaking, which just made everything worse. “Gio,” he began shakily, “we’re here to stop you.”

Cain marched forward, ready to most likely take Cid out with a single punch, but Gio stuck his arm in front of Cain’s chest to stop him. Alice laughed while continuing to ride the dumpster as Gio finally spoke. “You really are as oblivious as you appear, aren’t you?” he asked with a smirk, slowly walking towards Cid.

Cid lowered the gauntlet, putting his hands at his sides. It was such a loose fit that it just fell off and clanked to the ground. Cid looked down at it in shame before looking back up to Gio. “You didn’t send me those letters… did you?”

“Letters?”

Cid sighed. “I figured,” he mumbled dejectedly. “I don’t know why I’m here…”

“To do the Lizard King’s bidding, I presume.” He shot a look back at the dumpster before returning to Cid. “It’s not going well, is it?”

“I don’t even know who the Lizard King is… I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Cid admitted again, lowering his head.

“You’re right to question yourself and your allegiance to the Lizard Kingdom… but that’s not all you question, is it? Your doubt in yourself runs much deeper than that,” Gio continued as he pulled out a cigarette, twirling it around his fingers. “It’s written on your face, it lingers on your every word. What a pathetic aura that you carry.”

Cid stayed silent and continued to look at the pavement. He was convinced that he was about to be murdered and stuffed into a recycling bin, but his feelings of fear were outweighed by the great shame he felt after being fooled by Kim, which led to him being berated by a man with a hipster beard.

“Don’t bother trying to get information out of a soldier of the Lizard Kingdom!” cried Kim from inside the dumpster. She’d at least stopped banging around in there. “They’d quicker sacrifice themselves!”

Cid just closed his eyes in annoyance at Kim’s offering of him. Gio cackled lightly before taking out a lighter and flicking it until it lit aflame. “Your doubts are neither here nor there at the moment, though,” he said as he lit his cigarette. “If I’m being honest, I pity you. It’s not just that you aren’t enlightened, but you’re completely clueless. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with you.” Gio put his lighter away and held his cigarette up in between his fingers.

Cid looked up into Gio’s cold eyes before taking a glance around at Cain and Alice. “Well… you could let me go,” he said hopefully, almost in the form of a question. Gio responded by taking a deep drag of his cigarette before blowing a big cloud of smoke right into Cid’s face. Cid coughed and tried to wave the cloud away. “That’s just rude and unnecessary!”

And it was, but it was also more than that. What Cid didn’t know was that Gio laced his cigarettes with LSD, which was a reasonable thing to not have knowledge of. Because, really, what kind of man brings a ciggy spiked with LSD into the workplace? Well, Giovanni Aries did. While it had become a pre-match routine for him, he decided tonight to let Cid unknowingly in on the fun.

“You want to be let go?” asked Gio, taking another drag for himself.

“That’d be ideal. This whole thing… honestly, it was just a misunderstanding.”

“Cid!” Kim yelled from inside the dumpster once again. “I’ve planted a cyanide pill inside one of the gems on the Infinity Gauntlet! Take it! Take it now!”

Cid just stared awkwardly at Gio. “Um… yeah. Just a misunderstanding, I think,” he repeated faintly. Strangely enough, he swore he heard the low growl of some sort of exotic animal of the jungle. A lion, or maybe even a tiger. He looked all around the parking lot, searching for the source, but saw nothing. Still, the growls continued, growing closer and closer. His eyes darted back and forth. “Do you hear that?”

“I have greater concerns tonight, little lizard hatchling,” Gio stated flatly. He nodded his head back towards the dumpster. “Go, and take that one with you.”

Cid was beginning to have trouble breathing as the jungle animals continued to close in. “Christ, I think we’re about to be fucking mauled.”

“I won’t repeat myself,” Gio warned as he stepped out of Cid’s way, creating a clear path to his and Kim’s freedom.

Trying his best to ignore his impending doom, Cid stepped forward towards the dumpster. They had to get out of here or else they’d be torn apart, either by predators of the night or The Wonderland. As Alice climbed down from the top of the bin, Cid reached out to grab the lid, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

What greeted Cid was a giant lizard with devil horns, a lion’s mane, tiger stripes, and a small hipster beard surrounding its long lips. Not including the time he saw Jay Gold kissing his wife Martha backstage almost 20 years ago, this was the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.

“EMBRACE THE WONDERLAND!” it roared, flicking its tongue out, its spittle flying all over Cid’s face.

Cid screamed in fear and shoved the overgrown Lizard away before turning to open the dumpster. Flying out from the sea of cardboard was a staple, right into Cid’s forehead. “Ah, fuck!” he yelped, grasping at his face. He blindly reached into the dumpster and grabbed what he hoped to God was Kim before using both arms to throw her over his shoulder. He turned and ran ahead, trying his best to ignore the cackling lizard to his side and the laughs of The Wonderland behind him while also dodging any cars in the lot.

Kim flailed around on his shoulder, firing off errant shots with her staple gun as she protested. “No! Let me at ‘em! For the Lizard King!”

---

Before Cid knew it, him and Kim were both back in the backstage area, leaving The Wonderland behind. Cid’s legs gave out, dropping both him and Kim to the floor. While Cid crawled to a wall and pulled himself up to sit against it, Kim quickly shot up and stood over him. “Why did you do that?!” she barked. “We had ‘em!”

Cid shook his head, taking a moment to catch his breath. Thankfully, the calls of the jungle seemed to be dissipating, but the roars of a fiery ginger were making it hard to settle down. “No,” he gasped in between laboured breaths, closing his eyes tight. “No, no, no. You were in a dumpster, for fuck’s sake.”

“I was in there planning my great escape.”

Cid again just shook his head and opened his eyes to look up at Kim. “Why did you lie to me about Gio? He didn’t send those letters.”

“I didn’t, I—”

“Kim!”

Kim looked stumped. It was a valiant effort, but she supposed she’d just run out of rope with this ruse. “Okay, fine, I lied,” she begrudgingly confessed. “But it was for a good cause!”

Cid rolled his eyes. “Right.”

“Hey,” Kim said softly as she knelt down next to Cid. “Don’t worry about those letters. You wanna see scary, you should look at my DMs on Twitter. But here I am, still breathing. As for your daddy issues, just get used to it. We all have ‘em. We learn to deal with ‘em. That’s all the advice I can offer. Tonight, I’m going out there and showing everyone that people like me can overcome anything. What’re you going to do?” She paused. “Now… I have to go get my Lizard Championship from the dumpster and get ready for the gauntlet, so I’ll see you later.”

Kim stood up to walk away, but was stopped by Cid calling out, “Kim.”

“What?”

“Can I at least get my money back?”

“Oh… well, ya see, I’m currently in-between banks right now, so, like—”

“Alright, just go,” Cid said in total defeat. Kim just smiled and skipped off.

Sitting there, he realized that Kim had a great point. Cid was only minutes removed from having discovered that some sort of demon lizard with a hipster beard is roaming the halls of SCW. Putting everything into perspective, that certainly ranked as a higher threat than silly letters or fears of genetics that aren’t even really genetics.

Unfortunately for someone like Cid, it was hard to maintain that perspective for very long. One minute, he’d be driving down the highway with his good friend Asher, having a grand ol’ time, and the next, he’d be in a field after suffering what he assumed was a minor heart attack. Any positive thoughts seemed to easily slip away from his mind, whereas the negative thoughts stuck to his brain much like a staple currently stuck to his forehead.

And so, instead of being worried about just a literal monster hunting him backstage, he continued to stew in his thoughts about the metaphorical monsters lurking. After a moment, he swore he heard another fucking lion, too. All he could do was sit back with his head against the wall with his eyes closed.

---

---

“The end of an era,” Cid began, nervously scratching at his beard while looking into the camera. “I’d forgive you if you thought I was talking about the Tag League, given that that feels like an entire era within SCW itself. Four long months of tag matches all culminated a couple weeks back and to the surprise to many – hell, maybe even myself – A/C Unit was the last team left standing. It meant a lot to me, not only just because we beat the best that SCW has to offer, but because I actually got through two matches in one night to finish it. For all this talk being thrown at me about how I’m basically killing myself and how I don’t have what it takes, well… two matches, two victories, and one Tag League winner. Zero losses, from start to finish. It’s enough to even make me wonder if I have more left in the tank than I thought.

But, no, I’m not talkin’ about the Tag League. ‘End of an era’ is what Owen Cruze had to say after he ‘turned his back on the Perfect Pack’, which aren’t my words, by the way. All things considered, it wasn’t that bad. You’re lookin’ at someone who has bloodied up just about every person they’ve ever considered a friend in this business, so, forgive me if I’m cuttin’ Owen some slack here. Anyway… we don’t get much out of Owen Cruze these days, but we managed to squeeze that little blurb from ‘im. 

Honestly, who can blame the kid? Besides maybe Kelcey Wallace herself, who actually wants to walk around claiming to be ‘perfect’? I mean,” he continued with a quick laugh, “you lose one match and you have someone wildly champing at the bit, telling you, ‘look, you’re not perfect’! And then, y’know, that happens enough times, and you’re basically being told every other week how not perfect you actually are, which makes you start to wonder, doesn’t it? So, I can completely understand Owen goin’ out on his own.

But really, it’s much more than that. Owen branched out on his own, sure, but he’s emerged from the ashes of the Perfect Pack with a new attitude in and out of the ring. No more games, right? Now, it’s all about getting the job done in that ring, looking out for number one. So the next time a greasy stranger invites you into the back of his car, Owen, what’ll ya do? Surely if you oblige, you at least won’t go into a dirty, stinky warehouse with him… right? No dingy diners? No more embracing The Wonderland?

No, I don’t think you will. You told the world that you’re here to just get in and get the job done now and you’ve proved that statement true with a great showing against Gavin Taylor, showing a certain focus that I don’t think even Asher and I got to see when we faced off not that long ago. Maybe if you had this same fire in you back then, things would have been different that night.

Anyway, a lot has changed since then, I guess. Your whole thing with The Wonderland and your Pack, that’s gone. The presence of the Tag League no longer lingers over either of us, and I can only hope you find that your sacrifice was not in vain after A/C Unit managed to take the whole thing… 

… but again, a lot has changed. While we’ve gotten rid of some emotional baggage, we’re also finding ourselves a little lighter physically, aren’t we? No Aaron. No Asher. No one to fall back on… just you and me, going until we physically just can’t anymore,” he finished, taking a moment to catch his suddenly lost breath.

He stared away from the camera for a moment to compose himself before bringing his head back towards it. “It’s strange for me. I started my career in the tag team division and I was strict with it. Since coming back, it’s like I’ve gone full circle. I’m a tag team wrestler, and I’m completely fine with that. I don’t know where I’d be without Asher… to be blunt, I might not even be here right now. But… I am here, and now, I’m being put into a position that I’m just not comfortable in.

Crystal Zdunich, Matt Hodges,” he said with a wince, recalling the match where he had to strike down his own son, “and The Hairless Penguin, if you wanna count that. Those are my singles opportunities since coming back to SCW. And yeah, I won ‘em, but… I dunno.” He paused briefly. “There’s a block there. A hump that I just can’t get over… which is a problem for me. I’ve challenged Chad Evans. Whether or not he eventually accepts, I dunno, but the fact remains… I’ve challenged him. I don’t want to face Chad, but it looks like I might need to, which means I need to have what it takes to enter the ring without Asher by my side. That’s the only way that issue is gonna be settled.

So… Owen… let’s approach the unknown together. I wanna leave behind my doubts and fears and show that I belong in the ring with people like you, without anyone there to fall back on. You wanna leave behind the absurdity of people like Giovanni Aries and Sienna Swann and just wrestle… and look, we’ve both got plenty of distractions. Me with Chad, you with Shaun… but let’s just forget about that for a night. Like you said back when you faced Gavin, let’s focus on what’s right in front of us for a night.

Just a Thursday night where the past goes up against the future, young versus old. Two men meet, both with something to prove, both going in with the mindset that they absolutely cannot lose, lest they stumble right out of the gate on their new mission. That’s the fun thing with matches like this, isn’t it? Something has to give.

And sure, I pinned you in our last encounter, but there were plenty of times where my ass was saved from certain defeat in that match. I can’t even remember the amount of times we were both a split second away from losing, so even though A/C Unit picked up the victory, I’m not going to linger on it. This time, there’s no excuses for either of us, for better or for worse. If you win, Owen, you’re the better man, and it was an absolute honor to face you again. I hope you continue on and find exactly what you’re looking for, whether that be accolades or just finding meaning in this ridiculous business.

If I win, though… well, I hope your confidence doesn’t waver. People may question what you’re doing, but don’t let it get to you. I’ve shared the ring with you and despite our age difference, I look up to you. So young, with the weight of the world on your shoulders in the form of your family’s legacy… but you won’t let it break you, will you? It’s just not in your blood… recent history has shown us that your family just doesn’t give up. I’m speaking to you as someone who constantly thinks of giving up… your will is so damn admirable.

So, when I say that I have to beat you on Breakdown, I trust you’ll take that in stride, and I hope you’ll see that – just like our match in the Tag League – your loss will not be in vain. With your help, I plan on ending my current era. My era of fear, my era of doubt. I don’t think I can move forward without getting that weight off my back, to be honest… and I’m glad that it came down to the two of us once again. This is what you wanted, after all. No outside distractions, no bullshit; just a match sans frills to determine who’s the best wrestler of the night. When it’s all said and done, I hope we can shake hands in the middle of that ring and you can respect the fact that you just ran into someone who needed it that much more than you.”